A Short Story that I had to Write for School

The Tale of Sloppy Joe
NMP
January 17,2006

Once upon a time there lived a boy who’s name was Joe, but because he never ever cleaned up after himself, everyone always called him Sloppy Joe. His mother, who was obsessive compulsive about (what else?) cleaning, loved her son very, very, very, very much, but abhorred the fact the fact that he was always dirty and always left a enormous mess wherever he had been. One day, after Joe had come home from the park, she simply snapped and sent Sloppy Joe off to live with her sister Mary Sue.
Sloppy Joe’s Aunt lived on a farm in Minatota, with her twenty-seven children, all under the age of ten, Fabian, Fabiana, Fabianne, Fabio, Fabiola, Fable, Fabrizio, Fabryce, Fae, Fai, Faina, Fairlie, Fairfax, Faisal, Faith, Fala, Farley, Fantine, Falon, Faro, Farra, Farrah, Faun, Fausto, Fathi, Farrow, and Faust. Because Mary Sue had twenty-seven children, there was not much room in the house, so Sloppy Joey had to live out in the pigpen. But its not like he cared, he loved dirt and filth and pigs where his favorite animal!!!
One day in late Junuary, Fala and Faro where out taking a walk to the pigpen to make sure that they weren’t still afraid of Joe. But when they got to the massive mud hill that was the pigpen, Joe wasn’t there. In his stead was a cow.
Now it never occurred to the children that the cow could be Joe turned into a cow, because surely if Joe had gotten turned into anything it would be pig. So the children too the cow home and gave it to their mother, who served the cow for dinner. But since all of her children would eat were hamburgers, she had to grind up the cow into twenty-seven hamburgers. Mary Sue only ate vegetarian you see so that is why she didn’t make into twenty-eight. But the hamburgers didn’t turn out quite right. The pickles turned into onions, the mustard into salsa, the ketchup turned into ketchup, and the meat wouldn’t hold its shape and kept on falling out of the bun! Needless to say, the children loved them and decided to call them after their cousin and open a chain of restaurant.
After Fabian, Fabiana, Fabianne, Fabio, Fabiola, Fable, Fabrizio, Fabryce, Fae, Fai, Faina, Fairlie, Fairfax, Faisal, Faith, Fala, Farley, Fantine, Falon, Faro, Farra, Farrah, Faun, Fausto, Fathi, Farrow, and Faust went to bed, the pigs stayed up all night howling at the moon because their friend Joe had been turned into a cow and had been eaten.
And that is why you should always cleanup after yourself and take lots and lots of baths so that you don’t turn into a cow.

The End

[Carrie, you have my humblest apologies ]