Why I Blew up the Kitchen

It must be taken to account that that day was a particularly dull day. My mother was out grocery shopping and had taken my younger science crazy sister with her. One of my three older sisters was out with her fiancée buying bubbles or something for the wedding while another one of my sister was at work; while the third was huddled over her schoolbooks in intense studying. My father was of course at work this being the middle of the day. Therefore I was practically left home alone. I had done all my schoolwork what seemed like ages ago and was thoroughly bored. I had played on the computer for a while but tired of it quickly. After I was done with that I tried valiantly to strike up a conversation with the only other person in the house, but alas my wonderful and interesting, by the way, conversation starters were shot down with grunts and complaints of want to be left alone. So it is perfectly understandable that I was driven to the extremity of the bored state that I was in, so it perfectly understandable what I did next.

I went upstairs to the kitchen and brushed past my little sisters science experiment. When in doubt snack- but only if your mother’s not there. So there I was mulling about in the kitchen looking for something tasty when I spied my mothers great mistake. She had left the pine-scented candle that she always lights around this time of year, on the stove next to the list of chores she wanted us to do while she was gone. It was like putting a gimungous chocolate chip cookie in front of a person on a strict diet. I had no choice you see. I was tempted beyond my will power. Anyway it was really my mother’s fault for leaving the candle burning. At first I stuck to simple things like pouring the hot wax onto ice cubes and watching it make funky shapes or dripping water droplets onto the flame and listen to them sizzle or dipping my fingers into the wax, while I did this the list called out to me. It wanted to be burned; it wanted to feel the heat of the flame. Anyway I knew the list by heart, my mother wouldn’t miss it if she came home and it was gone. My cold-hearted mother who desperately wanted to see me fail lured me into it maliciously, and that is why I had to burn the paper; to prove her wrong of course. So I picked up the paper and dipped it into the flame and watched the fire devour it, I stared at it completely mesmerized for a while till I realized that my fingers were suddenly getting hot. So I threw the paper down on the floor and grabbed a cup fill of something red on the counter and poured it on the paper. Little did I know that the cup was filled with one of my little sisters experiments and was a mixture of alcohol and hairspray and gasoline? Of course she did have a note on it that said Very flammable on it, but who’s going to stop and read notes?

And that is why I blew up the kitchen. You see it wasn’t actually my fault at all!! It was really my mother and my sister’s fault!! I wouldn’t have started to play with the candle if my mother hadn’t left the candle out and how was I to know that my sister was experimenting with very flammable substances?